


Extremis

by Lunetta_The_Wind_Godess



Series: Marvel Couples [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Consensual Mind Control, First Time, Heaven, M/M, Multiple Pairings, Recreational Drug Use, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 11:09:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunetta_The_Wind_Godess/pseuds/Lunetta_The_Wind_Godess
Summary: Tony completes "The Snap" enough to save the entire universe. Where he ends up it heaven? It feels like it is, or what he imagines it to be. He falls for him so unexpectedly, it's almost like it was all supposed to happen.I'm tired of non con Thanos stories and Josh Brolin is too hot not to ship....He looks like Cable in this fic.This story does have suicidal triggers; please heed that warning before reading. I love all you readers.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Thanos
Series: Marvel Couples [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/632489
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Extremis

**Author's Note:**

> Yes my poor baby dies in this, but I couldn't stop thinking what would happen after? Where does he go. I did a lot of research on after death experiences and some were not pretty, some were beautiful beyond measure so I did my best.
> 
> If any of you ever have thoughts of suicide or need help, please call 800-273-8255. It has been a rough span of months, but this is why we write so you can read and enjoy your time; because there's plenty of it now. I myself feel crowded and like things are closing in sometimes, but this story, along with others is also my escape; so, come take my hand and escape with me,  
> Much love from the author....

Tony exhaled shakily as Stephen held up his finger, giving him the only sign he could ever give in their circumstance. Their one chance…..

Tony hissed and dove at Thanos, slammed his hand down over his as he felt the stones rotate to his own gauntlet in different instances. For someone that was quick to make a choice, he felt awfully long about this one. He hadn't told anyone…didn't anticipate the raw power.

He was a God…He could do anything and everything he wanted. He felt each breath come out ragged and torn. He knew his body would not be able to keep up. His whole frame shook in the armor as rainbow light rippled through him like veins. There was a sudden cold feeling, just before he knew his time would be close. He never really expected it to end, not just yet; there was too much to do, but it wasn't his job anymore. He looked down at his hand, his mind whirring a mile a minute….seeing all those faces and remembering lifetimes around him like a connected network of emotion.

"I am inevitable…." Thanos muttered.

"And I….am Iron man." He huffed back, snapping his fingers as a blast that echoed off the face of this universe rippled into millions of others. The cosmic light waves flared outward. He could feel his body draining of life. It was almost like when he'd fall asleep on the couch after staying up working too late the night before. He could feel his vision start to fade and glimmers of lights and faces of shock surrounded him, he didn't know who they were anymore. He dropped slowly and looked around, but wasn't seeing anything. He could hear ringing in his ears from the blast, almost like when he'd first been attacked and gotten the reactor. He could hear them, but just barely. He shook slightly and he could feel everything around him fade into a color he couldn't quite place. Everything felt like he was floating….away.

He felt warmth and secure wherever this was supposed to be. He stepped forward, but he didn't feel his feet move, but somehow he was still going where he wanted. It was difficult to explain. Suddenly everything got brighter, brighter than the sun even….He vaguely remembered when people would tell you not to look into the sun, but this light was brighter, but it didn't hurt his eyes and he couldn't quite look away.

Everything suddenly felt warm like a bath, but he wasn't wet, but the warm was almost like feelings; it was difficult to describe to someone else, but it felt like unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness and it just felt right. He almost felt like a silvery light, maybe it was his soul, but he could see others around him in this yellow light stretching off towards infinity. He passed through one and felt that warm love and forgiveness all once more. Was this what heaven was supposed to be like?

It felt like silk, something so soft that couldn't transcend what he felt on Earth…in the physical human world of existence. He looked down and saw his hands, he had hands again…okay this was different. He didn't feel cold either. He lifted his hand and ran it slowly through his hair, the physical movement of actually doing it felt like a lifetime, but it was seconds….he was sure of it. His body was made of light, not quite there, but it was more beautiful than his physical one, or so he thought, which was very hard to do in this weird place he ended up.

He could see people picking flowers in this flowing waves of green grass. He could sense their joy like it was their birthday. He ran over and reached down and started to pick flowers too. The flowers weren't really flowers, not like the physical ones, but like happy memories…it was euphoric. He delighted in the small snip noises their stems made and looked at them, relishing all the joy and delight they held, like babies.

Tony was grinning from ear to ear at the damn things. He didn't know how many there were or how many he'd picked, but maybe it depended on how much love they felt they needed. He didn't exactly feel doubt, but it was an echo of it. Like all the bad thoughts couldn't exist here. He looked up and saw a familiar pair of eyes. They were often full of hate, he remembered, but it was cloudy; like covered in oil and slowly draining away from his mind. More and more thoughts from whatever happened from before were slowly going away.

"Thanos…" He whispered as he watched him pick a flower. But this guy looked so human and a lot less…blue? was he blue when they fought? Tony couldn't even remember.

"I like this place." He mused and held up a flower for Tony. The engineer beamed and took it with a grin. It was like hate and sadness and anger just didn't exist; he couldn't even fathom what they felt like anymore. He laughed and gathered up more flowers, he couldn't remember where they would go after he picked them, maybe they absorbed them and the flowers never seemed to go away. There was always more….and they glowed like little lights. He stretched in the warmth of the light and lied on his stomach, at least that's what it felt like he was doing.

"Do you think this is heaven?" He whispered, wondering as he picked the same flower as Thanos.

"I'm human…I look how I think I've always wanted to look." He whispered.

"You look like you want to here, is my guess." Tony muttered as he grinned at a particular flower. It was like time passed and he wasn't sure for how long. A minute could have been a year for all he knew.

"I know this isn't real." He whispered to him. Tony looked up at him.

"You're naked…" He whispered.

"You are too." Thanos commented. Tony looked at his slightly translucent features and saw the silver hair trimmed along his temple and the sides were shaved, like some military style cut. Tony visibly shuddered and felt waves of warmth coast down his body…soul? He didn't know anymore.

"W…why are we picking flowers?" Tony whispered.

"I don't know…" Thanos smirked as he plucked another.

"I want to go to my lab…" He whispered. Tony sighed as he almost teleported and the world shifted around him and he was looking at his workstation. He grinned, didn't question any of it as the floating grassy world ebbed away from them. He knew it still existed, but he couldn't bring himself to think about all the schematics or how it actually happened. He looked across from him as those dark eyes like molasses.

"I think you make a nice human." He whispered and grinned across the station as he welded pieces together from a forearm of red and gold chrome.

"You aren't fighting evil anymore." He leaned his hands on his palms and watched him. Tony looked up and laughed richly. It was funny seeing a thick tough guy hunch over, almost childlike. He mused in the delight of their conversation.

"Why do people fight?" His brow furrowed, unable to fathom the idea why.

"Not enough to go around." Thanos whispered. Tony looked up startled.

"Not anymore. At least it's just…I don't know." He didn't know anymore. Like certain parts of his brain no longer made the negative thoughts and emotions attached to them. Was their brain chemistry different now? It was almost like his brain worked differently and was no longer confined to the aspect of physical boundaries. He shrugged and kept working on the same spot for a few minutes, he blinked and felt a lifetime away. His brow furrowed as he sighed and turned the arm over, connecting the lower circuit board to the cloaking nano-particles.

"I could watch you work forever, it's amazing what you do. You know that? You're far more talented than what you think." Thanos whispered humbly.

"Oh I think I have an idea." He chuckled loudly, and beamed.

"How does it feel to be human?" He mused.

"I feel accepted. It's really the only thing I've ever wanted." He handed Tony a wrench and his mini sautering gun.

"Well, I accept you so there's that…" He shrugged and grinned.

It felt like maybe night time by the sheer feel of it, but he couldn't tell exactly.

"Is it dinner time? Am I even hungry?" He laughed.

"Maybe there's somewhere we can go?" Thanos muttered. Suddenly the world around them shifted once more and they were at a hole in the wall diner that Tony didn't recognize, maybe it was off planet somewhere. He learned they were very much not alone in the world anymore. He looked at the menu and couldn't really read it, but he just knew what he wanted and it was already in front of him, so he ate. It was so delicious and different and weird all at once; but it was satisfying above all else. It was nourishment for his soul, rather than his body.

Thanos bit into his too and grinned. Tony laughed as the atmosphere was smoky pinkish red and a rainbow edge of a jukebox played rock somewhere off in the distance. It was moody and warm. Tony stopped eating, not feeling really full, but he wanted dance, more than anything right now as Madonna played over the speakers.

"Come on." He grinned. Thanos followed him as they moved and swayed together. Tony could feel that flicker of silver light inside him. He wanted to touch it. Tony reached for his chest and watched his face redden. Tony chewed his lip and grinned, suddenly figuring this big masculine guy was the shy type; which made this somehow even better. His dark eyes looked up at him, curious, but alluring from under his dark lashes.

"You don't really need to do this here." Thanos whispered.

"I still want to." Tony inhaled sharply at the level of heat building between them. Suddenly around them changed and there were distant planets and weird cloud fissures in the sky, but they came up like bursts of color against a blue tinted purple sky. Different galaxies around them shimmered, not Earth's system, but somewhere far away. Tony looked up in awe.

"Is this all yours?" He beamed. Thanos nodded. Tony grinned and hugged him closer against himself. Feeling that soft shining light against the back of his eyelids. Like golden embers danced around them. It was so much like magic. He only felt love…It was so rich and so much deeper than any other feeling before. He didn't know where the other flower pickers went, but they were alone. There was a crackling fire somewhere and Tony didn't want to let go.

"It's okay." He whispered. Tony eased down and sat on the log and leaned his head on Thanos' shoulder, relishing the mellow soft coils of heat rippling in and around him. It was the softest loveliest feeling. He shuddered from the sheer weight of it. Tony briefly wondered if it was possible to have sex in this weird existence they were in. he laughed, unable to shake the feeling. He felt fingers close over the top of his hand, intertwining them over his. The heat radiated off them. He could feel soft flickers of his soul again. It was warm and purple and blue….so beautiful. Tony didn't know if his did the same.

"Do I have colors too?" He looked up at him.

"Red…and orange." Thanos whispered with a smirk, knowing the answer. Tony liked that nothing needed an explanation. Like telepathy was a thing…or something. It was always something.

That's how Tony spent most of his nights and mornings….with him. It was so calming and soothing. Like he knew he was the polar opposite of him, but it just worked. Neither of them even had to try. Tony found himself building the strangest little things. One was something like a roomba, but there wasn't really any messes for it to really cleaned, but Tony would throw things on the floor to humor it. They built a little cottage together. Tony didn't feel the need to be expansive and huge. He couldn't remember what loneliness felt like; therefore, it was just an idea to him. He loved the closeness of working with him. He hammered in different sections of boards in the early stages of their dwelling. It was exciting thinking he made all of it without the help of restrictions and certifications; he just knew it would work. He learned more of Thanos' hobbies as the months went on. There were hundreds of flowers around the house. They expanded across the window and pooled in little swirls of pink light in the house when the sun went down and the moons came out. Tony always killed his plants, but somehow Thanos revived them from the depths of whatever hell Tony managed to get them to. He grinned, eyeing the crawling morning glorys that wrapped around the base of some flower he couldn't pronounce because it clearly didn't belong on Earth with its massive purple petals that spiraled into orange and yellow. They look like sun bursts of color and glowed green at night. Tony loved all the weird flowers the most. He liked the glowing ones and the kind that opened when you got close. He watched as Thanos' fingers worked around the ground and when his arm would flex when trimming the branches off to help preserve the integrity of others. He even grew food for them. The purple melons that were green and purple inside were his favorite. They were the sweetest.

"Why do you watch me like that?" Thanos whispered to him one day.

"What?" Tony shook his head slightly and looked up at him curiously.

"Like you're hungry or something." Thanos set down his shovel and stood up. Tony inhaled sharply as he got up, but he felt his breath hitch as their eyes met.

"Do I really look like that?" He huffed and looked up at him and felt his face get hot. He felt this warm need wash over him like a tidal wave. It was hotter than the sun and he wanted it more than a drink when he was lost in the desert a lifetime ago. Thanos had never truly had experienced what love was. He wanted to share it so deeply.

Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips to his and it felt like liquid heat wrapping around him. He felt Thanos' frame shake slightly against his as Tony's arms encircled slowly around his waist. The soft muslin fabric of his shirt echoed more warmth than a fire. Tony felt that soft love pouring through him like bubbles. He widened his mouth over his and moaned against tongue. It was so intoxicating, he didn't think it was possible to feel such a level of need enriched like this. He pulled back with a soft sob and looked up at him with watery eyes. He could feel Thanos' fingers card slowly through his hair as a soft mewl left him and more tears ran down his cheeks. Thanos tilted his chin up and kissed his cheeks and it felt warm and golden. He sighed and clung tighter to him in the garden where everything glowed in the soft lilac light of whatever time it was supposed to be. Tony cringed from the need and heaved another sob and dug his nails into his back. The deep gasp that left Thanos sounded like crackling thunder against his ears. The shudder than ran through him answered like lightning. It was like his senses were heightened and it was so raw and hot. He unfastened the buttons on his thin shirt and ran his hand slowly up his chest. It glowed a soft orange and felt textured and so warm with a slight fuzz. Tony shuddered and leaned his face into his touch and a soft chuckle left him. He purred against him as they eased onto the soft floor where lush grass the color of the ocean was. He loved how red Thanos' face was when he unfastened his own shirt. He grinned, knowing he'd get to have his first everything. That made it even better.

Tony coaxed his hips up against his and he could feel the rigid heat already there. He glowed brighter too. It was magnetic how he felt. His hands pulled at the fabric until hot skin met his and it felt like heaven around him. He almost choked on the happiness. Tony sucked in a sob as Thanos dipped his head back and kissed along his neck and licked across his collarbone, leaving a soft trail of orange light. Tony gasped and squirmed under him, giddy and aroused beyond any feeling he'd ever had before. It was like pouring joy right into his soul until it poured over and he couldn't stand it. His cheeks were sore from grinning as he eased his thighs slowly around Thanos' hips. It all felt so perfect, like stars inside him were burning brighter. Thanos' fingers traced the widened scar that stretched across his side and the slight dip where he'd been punctured. He kissed it, as if apologizing for marring his skin, of course Tony forgave him. He saw the world clearer. Thanos leaned forward and Tony felt him thicken inside him, but it was so much more than that. He could feel his soul brush against his. The feeling was beyond phenomenal. He cried from the intensity of it. Neither of them moved, but they were glowing and it was such a deep connection Tony couldn't find the words and they held onto each other. Tony didn't know where he started and Thanos ended. It was all he ever wanted. All the love in the universe was coursing through him. Forgiveness was like fingertips as he coasted them slowly down the titan turned human's back. He could feel the scratches he left there and it was so luscious and rich. He could smell the sex coming off him and grinned wide. Thanos moved again, causing his mouth to fall open in surprise. He hit that spot dead on and Tony bucked and gasped under him. He felt the heat building inside him like a wave and it was unstoppable. He shouted against him and slurred his name and shouted words that weren't exactly words, but more just verbal feeling. He could hear Thanos gasping against his ear and his grip tightened hard on Tony's hips and it burned so good. Tony writhed under him, laughing and crying all at once from the raw emotional feel of him. Soft rumbled chuckles scattered across his ears as he gasped and pawed through Thanos' two-toned hair. He was so gorgeous; did he have any idea what a beautiful human he made? Tony purred against him as the colors slowly ebbed across the landscape. He clung to him forever. It was impossible to feel so much at once. But in this place it was possible for the feelings to gather and build like a storm of bliss.

Tony woke the next morning to find himself covered in a soft thin blanket with little flowers woven into it. Another gift….he grinned and breathed in the sweet succulent scent of the pink flowers. He rose and hugged it himself.

"Hello Stark…" Came an unfamiliar tone, but the voice…he knew it from somewhere. Tony turned and looked up started to see Stephen smiling at him.

"Wh….what are you doing here?" He blinked in surprise and sat at the table that manifested itself beside the sorcerer.

"Checking on you." He smirked and folded his hands together. Tony grinned and beamed excitedly at him.

"I'm unbelievably…" His eyes rolled slightly and he laughed.

"Happy?" Stephen mused.

"That barely describes it." He whispered. Stephen raised a brow and shared this tea that was a soft blue color. Tony took it and drank it slowly, enjoying the bubbly feeling it gave him.

"I'm glad you're happy Tony." He whispered softly.

"It's impossible to judge anything here." Tony grinned.

"Yes, even with him, which I find amusing and surprises even me." Stephen nodded towards Thanos tending the morning harvest. Tony looked across and blushed, grinned and hide his face behind his cup.

"He's amazing….everything here is amazing…" Tony sighed longingly.

"Well, everyone does miss you, but they are all healing in their own way, you know?" Stephen sighed.

"I know I must be dead…." Tony whispered.

"Not necessarily." Stephen corrected him.

"Well, your soul has gone beyond the tangible world, if that makes sense." Stephen shrugged.

"How do you ever fathom wanting to leave this place?" Tony eyed him.

"Believe me it gets more difficult each time." Stephen whispered.

"So why not stay?" Tony tilted his head curiously.

"It is not my time to be here yet. I haven't done enough to earn my place here just yet." He smiled, but it was almost a sad one. Tony didn't see any hint of sadness until now and it brought tears to his eyes.

"No, I have to go soon." Stephen mentioned as Tony watched him. He could see Steve…Peter, Pepper, and more and more faces. He could remember them, but it was shrouded in something cloudy, murky and oh so dark. He winced slightly as Stephen rose quickly.

"My time is affecting you here, so I have to head back to my own plane of existence. I've already spent too much time here enough." Stephen crossed the little garden as swirls of orange light signified his exit.

"Wait, you were only here for a few minutes." Tony huffed.

"It's been two hours in the real world." Stephen stated. Tony stilled, hugging the blanket around his frame and nodded.

"I guess I'll see you when I see you." He closed the distance between them and hugged him. A stretch of orange glow erupted from Stephen and he chuckled and eased back. Tony grinned back at him, knowing how easy it was to make the sorcerer giggle like a child. He grabbed at the air beside him and Thanos' fingers sank into his and everything was okay again as the wizard left in a halo of orange light. Tony felt little echoes of lives before him and after him start to shift and fade back into a soft cloud of whatever memory was supposed to be. He sat beside Thanos as they ate fruit and vegetables from their garden. Tony cooed in delight against him and sighed softly as he was tucked warmly against his side.

More months passed….maybe….he didn't know anymore, but everyday brought something new it seemed. Tony laughed and Thanos came running back to their little cottage with a wide grin plastered across his usually serious face. Tony laughed and he yanked his hand and they ran together like eager kids to see what he just had to show him. Tony stilled, looking at his reflection in the watery pool Thanos found. He looked slightly younger than he remembered, but he was surprised how beautiful he was. He grinned in awe of his own appearance, seeing himself first the first time. Thanos shoved him in the crystal clear lake and he gasped as they both sloshed through the water. It was slightly thicker, like the ocean. He grinned and cuddled up to him and relished the warmth they shared. He never wanted it to ever end. It was just perfection in the shape of love in the gift wrapped in the soul of the man he was hugging. They spent nights together, intertwined both body and soul. He knew it and it was so real and moving.

…………………………………………………………………………………

He didn't see the edges of their reality start to peel away just yet. It came in small little increments….a shift of color was off. The intensity of the flowers in their garden weren't as bright. Thanos' subtle sweet words weren't as warm as they usually were. He was experiencing what easily could have been denial, but was that even possible in the place where they were. He hugged Thanos tighter as a soft cry left him.

"Are you okay?" Thanos whispered one night and he nodded; afraid and uncertain of what to say.

"It's alright." Tony smiled as they both got up to work in the garden. Tony found his own green thumb somehow. He learned from him and enjoyed bringing more life into their little house. It was like watching kids grow up. He looked up and saw little cracks in the sky. His brow furrowed, trying to process what he was seeing. Were those always there? He winced as a pain flared in his chest. It was hot, sharp, and felt like fire. His eyes widened as he felt the reality around his shred and fall apart like a tornado of light, movement, and sound. He cried out as hands of light grabbed at him. He looked down at the cold metal blue erupting from his chest, but the light was dim and everything went dark and then soft lights whirred around him. He couldn't remember making any noise, but air was rushing out of him in sharp deep gasps.

All he could feel was pain tearing at his insides and then darkness as it all came crashing around him like hell shattering around him. He yelled this time, hearing himself. Panic rose like a red wave of terror as he grabbed at nothing, uncertain if he could breathe or not. He was mentally back in the cave of despair and horror where part of him died and the armor was born in its place. He shrieked aloud and could see darkened figures, but they terrified him. They didn't have features and suddenly it all melted into blackness again. It was darker than the darkest night he'd ever seen. He felt like he was on the edge of eternity. It was horrifying and beautiful all at once. He reached out with shaking hands and suddenly the scent of roses hit him. He couldn't taste anything except plastic and it just felt numbingly cold. He made a noise, able to hear himself. He tried raising his arm…a finger, but he couldn't.

"He's stable now." He heard a murky voice say. Tony felt the echo of the green rippling grassy field where he first started picking the flowers….memories…feelings…whatever they were. He sobbed quietly and gripped his face and wept. He could move again. He shifted and sat up, tugging cords along with him. He yanked off the IV as warm red blood ran down his arm and he slipped off the bed. He hissed, tugging off the sticky pads attached to his chest and neck. Alarms whirred around him, but he couldn't begin to care as he sat up and screamed as loud as he could in his rage. It wasn't fucking fair. He was finally at peace and he'd managed to fall back to hell once more. He cried for forgiveness, feeling nothing answer back but nurses and doctors shouting at each other. He fought, but he could barely move. He was weak…like when he was starving to death in the darkness of space. He couldn't talk anymore. His throat was raw with his screaming he'd done earlier. He felt blackness envelop him once more, but it was still and far too quiet.

……………………………………………………………………….

"Tony." a voice whispered softly. He could feel a warm hand touch his forehead. For a second he thought….but no, the familiarity of that baritone was starting to fade from his memory. He huffed and felt the soft buzz of the implants he placed in his arms. He focused his mind, clearer now that he managed to not scream this time. He could feel his tech send a soft vibration as it read off the messages he tapped in code against his forefinger. He sent everything he saw and did, knowing they'd end up in an encoded file in his lab far away. He felt little pieces of himself slowly start to come together once the messages relayed. He suddenly remembered downloading his memories into his lab somehow. It was so technical and involved a yellow stone he didn’t know much about, but before the battle. He blinked and suddenly felt his world get far more complex and terrifying.

He fell in love with the enemy of the universe. He reached his hand up and bit into the plastic band on his wrist and hissed softly. He knew he was capable of love, wasn't he? Was it all made up in Tony's head. He felt anger, rage, and most of all…terror at the idea that none of it was ever real or ever even existed. He longed for that beautiful place again. He stiffened when he saw a woman's hand close around his. He cried…He didn't know exactly who she was, but she mattered and he knew it.

"I'm sorry Tony." She whispered. He looked up bleary eyed and saw others. They slowly came into focus….Peter, Steve, Pepper….that was her name… and Clint. Someone said there were more, but they could only have a certain amount of people in the room. It suddenly felt like too much, but a few of them left and he could breathe again. He hated how he suddenly had everyone back, but lost so fucking much to get there. Everything faded to that murky blackness again. He hated the forced sleep of medication. The feelings he was oblivious to came back to him like sharp teeth digging into his very soul. He was suddenly capable of hate, rage, and utter hopelessness. He shook with the intensity of it. His hands had scars on them, but they were less obvious than the one Thanos touched….which felt lifetimes ago. The longer he tried to think about it, the farther away it got. It took him weeks to recover, but they were long, drawn out and void of happiness. He could feel it in the others when they looked at him, but it was as if he was incapable of feeling anything but that murky blackness. He huffed and pawed at his side only to feel that familiar dip in his flesh and he almost sighed in relief. He wasn't in New York or upstate anywhere. He was….he knew where he was now. He turned and inhaled sharply, the scenery was indefinitely Wakanda. He remembered his visit years ago. He looked down and saw he was no longer hooked up to wires. His seat was soft, warm, and…

"Fuck!" He huffed and slid off the bed and stumbled towards the window. A warm hand gripped underneath his shoulder and he looked up at startling blue eyes.

"Stephen!" He huffed and hugged him hard.

"W…why am I here?" He managed.

"My guess is you aren't done." He whispered back.

"But what about Than….him, what about him?" He hissed under his breath.

"I'm still trying to figure out exactly how you managed to leave that place….plane." He quickly corrected himself. Tony slid slowly onto the floor in despair until Stephen hoisted him back up.

"Are you certain this isn't something you've concocted as some sort of failsafe?" He raised a brow. Tony's heart dropped in his chest as he struggled for answers and came up empty.

"I…I don't know." He fisted his hair and sighed. He held out his arm as a light flickered and instantly a small drone whirred past the protocol barriers and it swirled around him as red and gold armor phased around him and he blasted spiraling out of the med wing. He flew nonstop all the way to their new base build on of course…a soft grassy area that paled in comparison. He set his whole lab on lockdown and he knew there had to be some way to find him again. He had a vial of Pym particles and a time machine…didn't he? But how could he extract the very soul from something…somewhere…to be exact. He rose and knew he had to see Loki. He might know something. He pulled the remnants of the Cradle that was used to make Vision. It was already too late to use the scepter, but he remembered everything technology-based always left a digital footprint. He got to work, finding all the missing pieces and components he needed to rebuild the machine capable of bringing life to things that couldn't exist. If fucking Ultron could have done it….If Tony had uploaded his own conscience to his A.I. surely he could do it again.

He worked days at a time. Sometimes Steve would show up with food and things he needed, but Tony was quiet. He didn't know what to say or do. They would hate him if they knew what he was trying to do. Even Pepper, who had moved on since his supposed death. He didn't want to know their name either. He made peace with that long ago he decided. Clint showed up and held up a case of beer and the scent of something…

"You brought weed?" He laughed. Clint grinned and rolled a thin perfectly shaped joint.

"You're not new to this are you?" Tony laughed again.

"Nope…" He shrugged and cracked open a bottle and took a long swig.

"Tired of Steve's stupid shakes." He muttered and lit one and took a deep inhale. He felt little ripples of warmth that echoed the way it felt with Thanos, but the pain and utter loss of him burned so deep inside his very soul. He hissed and took another deep inhale.

"Take as much as you need boss." Clint handed him a bottle and he finished it before he could open a second. Tony missed getting high and the party-life, but it was just so obscenely dull compared to the feelings he endured.

"Steve would kill me if he knew." Clint chuckled and handed him the next drink. He took a hit off it and blow it at Tony.

"Oh well." Tony slipped on his yellow framed glasses and lied back on the work table and kept smoking. Each breath in pulled at his pain like a thread, slowly unraveling. He was covering it up, but that was okay for a few minutes…right?

An hour later the lab was filled with a haze of smoke and he was so drunk, his speech was slurred.

"I hhhhate it here." He huffed. Clint looked up at him and finished his beer.

"What, why?" He eyes him, but his gaze was not even on him. Tony stared at the ceiling.

"I fucked Thanos." He whispered softly. Clint snorted a chuckle and laughed harder. Tony looked over in his robe and laughed harder.

"I'm serious thoughhh…." He muttered. Clint's brow furrowed.

"How? wouldn't his….dick be like crazy huge?" He grinned as he asked the question. Tony turned on his side and laughed.

"N…no, he was human…and shit, it just worked somehow. We picked flowers and just fucked in the field and…" None of his description even brought a candle to what it had been really like.

"I didn't want to leave." Tony sighed. Clint blinked slowly, processing all of this.

"So you must be glad Pepper is a lesbian then huh?" He eyed him. Tony's brow furrowed as he looked back up at the ceiling.

"She's gay now?" He huffed softly.

"Guess I am too…" He shrugged and chuckled.

"How would you find him?" Clint asked.

"I have no fucking idea." He muttered.

"What about that bald lady…you know Strange's teacher or whatever?" Clint suggested.

"You know…" Tony mused, "That's an excellent idea." He huffed and nodded off somewhere. He could feel hands on his face. He didn't need to guess who they belonged to; he fucking knew. He couldn’t see them, but they spent years touching him. He flushed and shuddered at the sensation….Then he was lost again in a darkness, but it wasn't murky and awful like before. It was more like muted clouds. It was nice for once. He didn't expect the rage coming their way as he snored on the table top of his work station.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story so far. Let me know what you think of it. There will be more pairings and I'll update tags as they come to mind, but I just want to get this one posted because it had to happen. I love the ship of these two, but I wanted something more real for them. I haven't read many updated stories so maybe they're out there, but the slave idea (still hot lol) has left me wanting more. I'm considering the time heist goodness of Antman hahaha....All humor set aside, thank you for reading this gem. I love all my stories and if any of you need to share anything, feel free to do so. Nobody really knows what heaven is like (if you believe or not) but for the sake of this story there's some kind of plane of existence isn't there? Nobody knows that answer until they've earned their right to be wherever they end up. I drew a lot of inspiration from Dr. Strange of course. Our favorite wizard! haha.... Yes I'm working on a new chapter for Play with Fire :D


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